Re: gbrainy Mallard documentation
- From: Phil Bull <philbull gmail com>
- To: Jordi Mas <jordimash gmail com>
- Cc: gnome-doc-list gnome org
- Subject: Re: gbrainy Mallard documentation
- Date: Mon, 05 Apr 2010 20:45:28 +0100
Hi guys,
I reviewed the document for spelling, punctuation and grammar. It looks
good; I've attached a diff with a few changes, plus a few editorial
comments I added too.
On Mon, 2010-04-05 at 20:13 +0200, Jordi Mas wrote:
> Thanks a lot for your work. It looks great. Some comments:
>
> 1) After integrating your work "make distcheck" gives a few errors
> like this one:
>
> customgame.page:15: element license: Relax-NG validity error : Did not
> expect element text there
This is fixed in the attached diff. The <license> element had fallen
outside the <info> element on that page.
> 2) There are some spelling mistakes like:
>
> "Starts a new game playing onle memory games."
>
> Have this documentation view reviewed by a native English speaker?
(It has now. That was the only spelling mistake, and I tweaked the
structure of a few sentences to make them sound a little more natural.)
Nice work as always, Milo!
Thanks,
Phil
--
Phil Bull
https://launchpad.net/~philbull
diff --git a/help/C/customgame.page b/help/C/customgame.page
index 2717456..9f65381 100644
--- a/help/C/customgame.page
+++ b/help/C/customgame.page
@@ -31,9 +31,8 @@
</item>
<item>
<p>
- In the <gui>Custom Game</gui> dialog, select or de-select the games that
- you would like to play, or that you would not like to play, by clicking
- on the check box next to the name of the game.
+ In the <gui>Custom Game</gui> dialog, select the games that you would
+ like to play by clicking on the check box next to the name of the game.
</p>
</item>
<item>
diff --git a/help/C/difficulty.page b/help/C/difficulty.page
index 8ba15bd..ea94cde 100644
--- a/help/C/difficulty.page
+++ b/help/C/difficulty.page
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@
<title>Difficulty levels</title>
<p>
- In order to change the difficulty level of the game, proceed as follows:
+ To change the difficulty level of the game, proceed as follows:
</p>
<steps>
<item>
diff --git a/help/C/gameplay.page b/help/C/gameplay.page
index d3be64a..f980c53 100644
--- a/help/C/gameplay.page
+++ b/help/C/gameplay.page
@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@
<desc>Introduction to <app>gbrainy</app>.</desc>
<revision pkgversion="2.30" version="0.1" date="2010-01-10" status="draft"/>
<revision pkgversion="2.30" version="0.1" date="2010-01-21" status="review"/>
+ <revision pkgversion="2.30" version="0.1" date="2010-04-05" status="review"/>
<credit type="author">
<name>Milo Casagrande</name>
<email>milo ubuntu com</email>
@@ -17,7 +18,7 @@
<title>Gameplay</title>
<p>
- <app>gbrainy</app> is a brain teaser game and trainer to have fun and to keep
+ <app>gbrainy</app> is a brain teaser game; the aim of the game is to have fun and keep
your brain trained.
</p>
<p>
@@ -32,18 +33,18 @@
with new games developed by third parties.
</p>
<p>
- <app>gbrainy</app> relies heavily on the works of previous puzzle masters,
- ranging from classic puzzles from the ancient times to the ideas of more
- recent works like <link href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Stickels";>Terry Stickels</link>
- puzzles or the <link href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Brain";>Dr. Brain</link>
- classical game.
+ <app>gbrainy</app> relies heavily on the work of previous puzzle masters,
+ ranging from classic puzzles from ancient times to more recent works like
+ <link href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Stickels";>Terry Stickels'</link>
+ puzzles or the classic <link href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Brain";>Dr. Brain</link>
+ game.
</p>
<note>
<p>
- There have been recent discussions in the scientific community regarding if
- playing brain training software improves cognitive performance. Most of the
- studies show that there is no or little improvement. However, you can have a
- good time playing games like <app>gbrainy</app>.
+ There have been recent discussions in the scientific community regarding whether
+ brain training software improves cognitive performance. Most of the
+ studies show that there is little or no improvement, but that doesn't mean
+ you can't have a good time playing games like <app>gbrainy</app>!
</p>
</note>
</page>
diff --git a/help/C/gametypes.page b/help/C/gametypes.page
index 73ca2bf..0dbae65 100644
--- a/help/C/gametypes.page
+++ b/help/C/gametypes.page
@@ -3,13 +3,14 @@
id="gametypes">
<info>
<title type="sort">3</title>
- <desc>What types of game you can play.</desc>
+ <desc>You can do logic puzzles, mental calculations, memory trainers and verbal analogies.</desc>
<link type="guide" xref="index#play"/>
<link type="seealso" xref="gameplay"/>
<revision pkgversion="2.30" version="0.1" date="2010-01-10" status="draft"/>
- <revision pkgversion="2.30" version="0.2" date="2010-01-21" status="review"/>
+ <revision pkgversion="2.30" version="0.2" date="2010-01-21" status="review"/>
+ <license>Creative Commons Share Alike 3.0</license>
</info>
- <license>Creative Commons Share Alike 3.0</license>
+
<title>Game types</title>
<p>
@@ -38,7 +39,7 @@
<item>
<title>Mental calculations</title>
<p>
- Games based on arithmetical operations designed to prove your mental
+ Games based on arithmetical operations designed to improve your mental
calculation skills. Games that require the player to use multiplication,
division, addition and subtraction combined in different ways.
</p>
@@ -53,7 +54,7 @@
<item>
<title>Memory trainers</title>
<p>
- Games designed to challenge your short term memory. These games show collections
+ Games designed to challenge your short-term memory. These games show collections
of objects and ask the player to recall them, sometimes establishing relationships
between figures, words, numbers or colors.
</p>
@@ -68,8 +69,8 @@
<item>
<title>Verbal analogies</title>
<p>
- Games that challenge your verbal aptitude. Games that ask the player to
- identify cause and effect, use synonyms or antonyms, and use his vocabulary.
+ Games that challenge your verbal aptitude. These games ask the player to
+ identify cause and effect, use synonyms or antonyms, and use their vocabulary.
</p>
</item>
</terms>
diff --git a/help/C/history.page b/help/C/history.page
index f117636..3b32964 100644
--- a/help/C/history.page
+++ b/help/C/history.page
@@ -15,8 +15,8 @@
<title>Personal game history</title>
<p>
- The <gui>Player's Game History</gui> dialog shows the evolving of your performance
- from every game type during the last recorded game sessions.
+ The <gui>Player's Game History</gui> dialog shows your performance in every
+ game type during the last few game sessions.
</p>
<section id="history-personal">
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@
</section>
<section id="history-change-graphic">
- <title>Select the results to show</title>
+ <title>Select which results to show</title>
<p>
To select the results that will be shown in the graphic, use the different
check boxes located under the graph.
@@ -38,8 +38,7 @@
<section id="history-save-prefs">
<title>Change the number of saved games</title>
<p>
- <app>gbrainy</app> saves the player scores to be able to track the player
- score evolution.
+ <app>gbrainy</app> saves the player's scores so it can track how they evolve.
</p>
<p>
In order to change the number of sessions recorded or how many games will
diff --git a/help/C/multiplayer.page b/help/C/multiplayer.page
index 098358c..401524b 100644
--- a/help/C/multiplayer.page
+++ b/help/C/multiplayer.page
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@
<title>Play with other people</title>
<p>
- With <app>gbrainy</app> it is not possible to play with or against
- other people over the Internet or a local network.
+ It is not possible to play against other people over the Internet or a
+ local network with <app>gbrainy</app>.
</p>
</page>
diff --git a/help/C/newgame.page b/help/C/newgame.page
index 13c0b02..a68ee20 100644
--- a/help/C/newgame.page
+++ b/help/C/newgame.page
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
<section id="game-start">
<title>Start a new session</title>
<p>
- To start a new game, perform one of the following:
+ To start a new game, do one of the following:
</p>
<list>
<item>
@@ -32,14 +32,22 @@
</item>
<item>
<p>
- Click on one of the different buttons in the toolbar.
+ Click on one of the buttons in the toolbar.
</p>
</item>
</list>
<p>
- The following actions are associated to the buttons in the toolbar:
+ The toolbar buttons have the following meanings:
</p>
-
+ <comment>
+ <cite date="2010-04-05" href="mailto:philbull gmail com">Phil Bull</cite>
+ <p>
+ The descriptions in the list below just echo the name of each button
+ (X: Start a new game playing X games). Can we do anything more useful with
+ them (e.g. link to descriptions of each game type, or give examples of
+ the sorts of games in each category?)
+ </p>
+ </comment>
<table frame="none" rules="none" shade="none">
<tr>
<td>
@@ -86,7 +94,7 @@
<item>
<title>Memory</title>
<p>
- Starts a new game playing onle memory games.
+ Starts a new game playing only memory games.
</p>
</item>
</terms>
@@ -99,7 +107,7 @@
<item>
<title>Verbal</title>
<p>
- Starts a new game playing only verbal analogies games.
+ Starts a new game playing only verbal analogy games.
</p>
</item>
</terms>
@@ -109,7 +117,7 @@
</table>
<note>
<p>
- These descriptions apply also to the game you can select from
+ These descriptions also apply to the game types that you can select from
the <gui style="menu">Game</gui> menu.
</p>
</note>
@@ -118,20 +126,26 @@
<title>Play a session</title>
<note style="tip">
<p>
- When you play a game, read always the instructions carefully.
+ When you play a game, always read the instructions carefully!
</p>
</note>
<p>
- The game session starts by showing you the problem, and asking for the answer.
- At the bottom of the window there are the main set of controls to interact with the game.
+ The game session begins by showing you the problem and then asking for the answer.
+ At the bottom of the window is the main set of controls that you can use to interact with the game.
</p>
<p>
Once you know the answer to the problem, type it in the <gui style="input">Answer</gui>
- text entry, and press <gui style="button">OK</gui>.
+ text entry and press <gui style="button">OK</gui>.
</p>
<p>
To proceed to the next game, click <gui style="button">Next</gui>.
</p>
+ <comment>
+ <cite date="2010-04-05" href="mailto:philbull gmail com">Phil Bull</cite>
+ <p>
+ I don't understand what this note means. Does it mean that the game will count negatively?
+ </p>
+ </comment>
<note>
<p>
If you click <gui style="button">Next</gui> before completing the game,
diff --git a/help/C/pause.page b/help/C/pause.page
index aefc6d3..dfa6368 100644
--- a/help/C/pause.page
+++ b/help/C/pause.page
@@ -20,8 +20,8 @@
<section id="pause-pause">
<title>Pause and resume a game</title>
<p>
- To pause a game in order to be able to resume it at the same point, perform
- one of the following:
+ To pause a game so that you can resume it at the same point at a later
+ time, perform one of the following:
</p>
<list>
<item>
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@
</item>
</list>
<p>
- In order to resume the game, perform one of the following:
+ In order to resume the game after you paused it, perform one of the following:
</p>
<list>
<item>
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@
<list>
<item>
<p>
- Choose <guiseq><gui style="menu">Game</gui><gui style="menuitem">End Game</gui></guiseq>
+ Choose <guiseq><gui style="menu">Game</gui><gui style="menuitem">End Game</gui></guiseq>.
</p>
</item>
<item>
diff --git a/help/C/score.page b/help/C/score.page
index 594aa45..594001e 100644
--- a/help/C/score.page
+++ b/help/C/score.page
@@ -16,11 +16,11 @@
<title>Game score and timings</title>
<p>
- If you answer a game incorrectly, you will not get any score for that game.
+ If you answer a puzzle incorrectly, you will not get any score for it.
</p>
<p>
- If you answer a game correctly, the scores will be based considering the time
- elapsed to resolve the problem, and if you used the tip during the game.
+ If you answer a puzzle correctly, you will get a score which depends on the time
+ taken to resolve the problem and whether you used the tip during the game.
</p>
<p>
The following table summarizes the different game durations (in seconds) based
@@ -59,7 +59,7 @@
</tr>
</table>
<p>
- With the expected time for the current difficulty level and the time you
+ With the expected time for the chosen difficulty level and the time you
take to complete the game, the following logic is applied:
</p>
<list>
@@ -70,45 +70,51 @@
</item>
<item>
<p>
- If you take more than the time expected to complete the game, you score the 80%.
+ If you take more than the time expected to complete the game, you score 80%.
</p>
</item>
<item>
<p>
- If you take more than 2 times of the time expected to complete the game,
- you score the 70%.
+ If you take more than 2x the time expected to complete the game,
+ you score 70%.
</p>
</item>
<item>
<p>
- If you take more than 3 times of the time expected to complete the game,
- you score the 60%.
+ If you take more than 3x the time expected to complete the game,
+ you score 60%.
</p>
</item>
<item>
<p>
- If you use also the tip, you score only the 80% of the previous score.
+ If you use a tip, you score only the 80% of the original score.
</p>
</item>
</list>
<section id="computing-scores">
<title>Computing the totals</title>
+ <comment>
+ <cite date="2010-04-05" href="mailto:philbull gmail com">Phil Bull</cite>
+ <p>
+ In this section, does "logarithm of 20" mean score = log_20(sum(results))?
+ </p>
+ </comment>
<p>
<app>gbrainy</app> keeps track of the different games types played. To compute
the final score of every set of game types it sums all the results of the
- same game types played and then applies a factor based: on the logarithm of
- 10 for the easy difficult level, on the logarithm of 20 for the medium difficult
- level, and on the logarithm of 30 for the master difficult level.
+ same game types played and then applies a factor based on: the logarithm of
+ 10 for the easy level; on the logarithm of 20 for the medium level; and
+ on the logarithm of 30 for the master level.
</p>
<p>
This means that when playing at medium difficult level, to get a score of
100% you need to score 100% on at least 20 games of every game type played.
</p>
<p>
- This may sound challenging but allows players to compare game scores from
- different sessions (in the player's game history) and allows to track better
- the progression of the player during all the games played.
+ This may sound challenging, but it allows players to compare game scores from
+ different sessions (in the player's game history) and allows better tracking of
+ the progression of the player through all of the games played.
</p>
</section>
</page>
diff --git a/help/C/times.page b/help/C/times.page
index 9e6ec83..bfabeec 100644
--- a/help/C/times.page
+++ b/help/C/times.page
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@
<title>Change the challenge duration</title>
<p>
- To increase or decrease the number of seconds to memorize the challenge when
+ To change the number of seconds you are given to memorize the challenge when
playing memory games, proceed as follows:
</p>
<steps>
@@ -28,10 +28,10 @@
<item>
<p>
In the <gui>Memory Games</gui> section, use the spin box to increase or
- decrease the number of seconds the challenge will be visible.
+ decrease the number of seconds that the challenge will be visible for.
</p>
<p>
- The default value is 4.
+ The default value is 4 seconds.
</p>
</item>
</steps>
diff --git a/help/C/tips.page b/help/C/tips.page
index efad1f1..4c3e80a 100644
--- a/help/C/tips.page
+++ b/help/C/tips.page
@@ -16,17 +16,16 @@
</info>
<title>Tips</title>
- <note>
- <p>
- Not all games have this functionality available.
- </p>
- </note>
<p>
With some of the games you can play, it is possible to get simple tips that
can help you to solve the problem.
</p>
<p>
- When playing a game, at the bottom of the window next to the <gui style="input">Answer</gui>
- text entry, click on the <gui style="button">Tip</gui> button.
+ When playing a game, click on the <gui style="button">Tip</gui> button at the bottom of the window (next to the <gui style="input">Answer</gui> text entry).
</p>
+ <note>
+ <p>
+ This feature is not available for some of the games.
+ </p>
+ </note>
</page>
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